You’re Stronger Than You Ever Imagined

This weekend, my grandmother peacefully passed away at the age of 93. The last fourteen years of her life exemplify the inner strength we all have, yet so many of us never tap into it.

My grandfather passed away fourteen years ago, and he was my grandmother’s everything–they were high school sweethearts, they did everything together, and without him, I wasn’t sure how long my grandmother would be with us. I honestly thought she would pass away shortly after from a broken heart.

When my grandfather passed away, not only did my grandmother have to figure out how to navigate each day without her best friend, but she also had to figure out how to navigate normal activities she never had to handle, like paying the bills, balancing the checkbook, paying taxes, etc.; these might seem like simple tasks, and they would eventually become so for her, but in the midst of losing the love of her life she also had to tackle skills she never had to develop at the age of 79.

Eventually, she got the hang of all the household chores and responsibilities my grandfather took care of, and they became second nature to her. She even called me one day to ask how she could make more money because her credit union was “robbing her” with the little interest they paid her. I helped her set up an online bank account, and we transferred most of her savings from the credit union to the online account, which was an accomplishment because she had a computer but no internet, so that she could earn more interest.  

It would have been easy for my grandmother to rely on others to help her with the new responsibilities, but instead, she persevered and maintained her independence.

When my grandmother received her diagnosis, I honestly did not expect her to fight the disease. For the last few years, she mentioned more and more being ready to be with my grandfather, and the diagnosis could have been her excuse to surrender and let nature take over quickly. I wouldn’t have blamed her. 

But that wasn’t the case. 

Until the last couple of weeks, my grandmother continued to live independently in her house, the house she and my grandfather bought when they were first married, requiring a little help to maintain the lawn and shovel the driveway when it snowed; otherwise, she cleaned it, went up and down the stairs for laundry, and kept her garden going in the summers. 

As her health began to decline and it was clear her time here was near an end, my grandmother told my mom and aunts that she wanted to make it to her 93rd birthday–October 7th. In the last few days, she spent most of the days sleeping and not very coherent when she would wake, BUT her fragile body held on until the morning of the 8th…she wanted to make it to her 93rd birthday, for who knows what reason, and she did.

It would have been easy for my grandmother to pack it in during the last fourteen years of her life, but she exhibited an inner strength that I’m not sure we knew she had to not only wait fourteen years to be reunited with her love but thrive during those years. 

Inner strength doesn’t always show up in pushing harder in workouts, surviving start-up life, or the glamorous examples we see in social media. Most often, inner strength shows up while grieving the loss of a loved one, losing a job, battling depression, or any other trials life throws at us.

We all have the inner strength we need to conquer anything thrown at us and do so in a way we never imagined possible.

If you had asked my grandmother fourteen years ago if she’d live to be 93 in her house and maintain her life independently, I don’t think she would have confidently said yes. 

Yet, that’s precisely what she did.

See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,

JC