Death’s Gift
It’s odd to position death as a gift but stay with me.
Over the last few years, as I began to align my spirit, mind, and body, I spent more time thinking about death. First, because the Stoics often remind us that death is imminent and it could be closer than we think, we should consider that fact in how we approach living. After the Stoics encouraged me to think and become comfortable with death, many of the spiritual books I read talked about death in a similar manner while also exploring what might be on the other side of death. And finally, life reminded me of death’s role in our lives through the experiences of others, forcing me to sit with my own mortality more.
I’m no longer afraid of death, but I also wouldn’t say I’m to the point where I welcome it–I hope and plan to have many, many, many, many more years of experiencing life…death’s gift…ahead of me.
My biggest fear regarding death is missing out on future experiences with Ang, Roman, Leo, and Silas. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for future experiences with other family, friends, whomever and whatever might come into my life, and the things I still have left to accomplish ahead of me, but I’m currently at peace with those areas of my life–if today were my last day, I’d have no regrets in those areas of my life and believe I would have accomplished my goal of making an impact in the world.
But the thought of missing out on the future with Ang and the boys still scares me.
However, last night, I read something that rocked me and might help me reach a point where I can feel good about being in a position where if my last day were much closer than I hoped, I’d be at peace with the life I’ve had with my family–I’d no longer fear what I’d miss.
One of the final chapters of The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer discusses death with a similar message as the Stoics and the other spiritual books I’ve read, “death is imminent, so make sure you live life.”
Singer positioned death in a way I’ve never really thought about and totally reframed the way I think we should view death:
“You fear death because you crave life. You fear death because you think there’s something to get that you haven’t experienced yet. Many people feel that death will take something away from them. The wise person realizes that death is constantly giving them something.”
He follows that powerful quote later in the chapter:
"If you are living every experience fully, then death doesn’t take anything from you. There’s nothing to take because you’re already fulfilled. That’s why the wise being is always ready to die.”
My interpretation of those two quotes and the rest of the chapter is that death can only take life away from you if you never live. If our fear is that we won’t be able to experience something in the future because we might die, then death’s gift to us is the encouragement to experience and live life today–that way, whenever death visits, and we know it will, we’ve experienced and lived the life we want, and we have nothing to fear missing–death would have nothing to take because it gave us everything through our life.
My goal, and hopefully, it eventually becomes yours, is to approach life with more intent and try to design it to allow me to live life in a way that I won’t fear missing something in the future because I’m fulfilled. Singer’s quotes also refocused me to be more aware of how present I am living my life–some of what we fear missing in the future we can experience today if we were only more present to see it.
Obsessing over death is probably not the healthiest approach to living, but remembering your mortality and appreciating the gift that death provides us, life, can help you redesign your life to live and experience more today…alleviating any fear of death because you will have lived a full life.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
