Daily Notes (12.31.22)

Another warm and beautiful day in Marco Island and another morning on the beach with a few important takeaways…

I kicked off the final day of 2022 down on the beach for my mourning routine (3 round of Wim Hof breathing and a 20 minute meditation) and instead of being challenged by the sounds of others on the beach, the morning prep for chair rentals, and the increased hotel traffic for the holiday, my meditation was a battle from within. My thoughts took the role of my opponent for maintaining my focus and presence during my meditation.

Thankfully, I’ve gotten better at noting my thoughts and coming back to my anchor, which today was my breath. I tried to focus on the waves again today and seeing if I could block out all other noises but I quickly realized I was trying too hard to hear the waves and that in itself became a distraction, so I went back to focusing on my breath.

And this brings me to the first couple of lessons from today:

1.) What worked yesterday may not work today. Sometimes we fall victim to routines and assume what has worked for us in the past will always work for us going forward. In my profession, financial advisors often remind clients that past performance does not predict future success, and in this instance, past success does not predict future success. I could have forced myself to focus on the waves and not shifted to focusing on my breath because of the experience I had in yesterday’s meditation, but since I realized it was a distraction and switched approaches I ended up with the experience I was supposed to have today. I’ll admit, had I been set on focusing on the waves I would have still ended up with a meaningful but different experience, which brings me to my second lesson…

2.) There is no “right” when it comes to meditation. If you’re not into meditating, this statement probably applies to other areas in your life. We are often so focused on finding the “right” answer or the “right” path that we make our journey more difficult than it should be…as I shared yesterday, sometimes we are our own worst enemy and our search for “right” or perfection prevents us from experiencing a great life. One of my greatest struggles in developing my meditation practice (and journaling) was I wanted to make sure I meditated the right way. “Right” in my eyes was completely clear-minded, cross-legged, hands on knees, eyes closed, and immune to distractions and since I wasn’t able to sit in that position long or keep my mind clear, I felt as if I was failing and could never get into a routine. But once I realized there was no “right” way to meditate—you can lay down, sit down, cross-legged or straight-legged, eyes open, or even walk then it became easier to give myself the space to figure out the approach that worked best for me.

Currently, when I don’t have access to a beach, which is most day, I sit downstairs in our workout room, legs crossed, eyes closed, and use the Open app for a guided meditation (sometimes I skip the guide and just use the timer). Today, I did something different—in the last three minutes I opened my eyes. I maintained the focus on my breath, gazed at the flock of seagulls in front of me, and just sat there. It was a cool experience as I could see people passing by behind the seagulls but they were merely blobs shuffling along—Kendrick Lamar could have walked by and I would have missed him. After experiencing a different approach to meditation, I will probably add in more open-eyed meditations in the future.

My future experiences and takeaways will benefit from my ability to realize I don’t have to meditate in a specific way—whatever feels right for that day is how I’m supposed to be. And the same can be said for creating content, working out, and other activities that are important to me. After my time on the beach I went to the fitness center and just didn’t feel like lifting weights and someone was already on the Peloton, so I hit the open turf area and did some lunges, push-ups, air squats, and ab work followed up by 15 minutes of yoga. It turned out to be a great workout and kept my morning moving in the right direction—I know I would have felt worse if I lifted weights because I would not have had a “good” workout and it would have frustrated me.

In both of today’s scenarios I allowed my intuition to be my guide—my mind had a game plan predetermined, yet my soul had something else in store for me.

IDGAF

My final observation for today was that multiple days on this trip I have sat by myself, did some crazy looking and sounding breathing, meditated, and even worked out in a non-workout area without a care of what others might think.

In the past, I would have bailed or been so distracted I would have quit any and all of those activities because of the people around me. I don’t think I would have actually cared what others thought—it wouldn’t have ruined my day—but I would have been so aware of them that it would have prevented me for finishing the activities…I struggle to make this makes sense other than I wouldn’t have cared what others thought, but I would have been aware they MIGHT have been thinking something.

I don’t know what the turning point was or when it happened—I do think it was in the last year but I have reached the stage in life where I don’t care about what others think. Now, don’t get me wrong, deep down I am a people pleaser. I want to be liked. I want to be respected. I want to inspire. I don’t want to be an asshole. But those wants no longer guide how I move.

I know who I am. I know what I’m about. And I know everything I do is with the best intention and never to harm anyone. But, I also know not everyone will like me and there’s nothing I can do about that. And beyond that, it’s not my job to make everyone like me or to make everyone happy.

As Ram Dass said in Be Here Now, “I can do nothing for you but work on myself...you can do nothing for me but work on yourself!”

By focusing my efforts on being the best version of myself I’m doing the most I can for everyone else. So, if meditating on a beach in the middle of other’s morning allows me to be the best version of myself, then it is so important that I do it and what anyone might think is meaningless. And hopefully, someone who is holding back from doing the work to be the best version of themselves because of the worry of what others might think can see me and be inspired to NGAF either. I’m being the best version of myself so they can be the best version of themself.

And if Ram Dass wasn’t enough to inspire you to shake what others MIGHT think about you, Kendrick Lamar reminds us in Crown that “(we) can’t please everybody…”.

Man, today was packed. It’s time to get ready for our New Year’s Eve dinner and then ringing in 2023.

See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,

JC