They Aren’t Really Watching You
“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.”
- credited to Ann Landers, but this is debated.
Being that I’m 41, I can attest that it was around the age of 40 that I began to care a little less about worrying about what others think about me—I’m lucky because it was at the same time that I realized what we’re supposed to understand at age 60.
There is something about that age of 40, though—it’s the time that we hear about people experiencing a midlife crisis. Having experienced my own shift around that time, I think of it more as a midlife awakening or self-actualization, not a crisis. I didn’t experience any dramatic events or lack of identity. Instead, I found an understanding of who I truly am, and thankfully, that understanding came with the confidence to pursue that version of my Self without worrying about what others might think.
Carl Jung even wrote about how life starts at 40,
“Life really does begin at 40. Up until then, you’re just doing research.”
My experience, along with the words from Landers and Jung, can’t make you understand that the life you are trying to live to impress others is a waste of YOUR energy and time. They can only help you realize it sooner than you would have on your own.
Being someone other than your true Self in order to gain validation from others, who, as you will eventually learn, are not really paying attention to you, is not fair to YOU. So, if no one is paying attention to the version of your Self you are today, why not be the authentic version of your Self?
They don’t care either way. But at least you get to be YOU, which will allow you to be happier and pursue the life you want to live.
Eventually, you will come to this understanding and walk more comfortably as your authentic Self…it could be 40, it could be 60, or it could be a lot sooner now that you are at least aware of this information.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
