Discover Your Own Answers
Yesterday, I had a call with one of the students I spoke to earlier in the month at Michigan State, and it was such an enjoyable conversation. He came to the call with a bunch of questions ranging from the mechanics and strategy behind the backdoor Roth IRA contribution to meditation to fashion. The range of topics allowed for a fun conversation and one I think led to him actually getting information to help him as he continues on his journey through college; I could tell he gave significant consideration about the areas in his life he is looking to grow in and that I would be able to give him some advice or answers.
I’ve had countless similar calls, not just with students, where the person on the other end did not come with any consideration of how I could help them in specific areas--I don’t think those calls had the same impact.
With the exception of the backdoor Roth IRA part of our conversation, I’m not sure I gave him the answers he was seeking. It was not because I didn’t want to help him–quite the opposite. Instead of pretending to know what HE needed to do, I shared my experiences and why they worked for me, provided some resources to check out, and, most importantly, encouraged him to experiment to find out what worked best for him.
What worked for me may or may not work for him.
I remember being very much like him earlier in my career; I was constantly seeking someone to tell me “the” way to do things so I could just go do them that way and find the same success. Thankfully, although it was frustrating at the time, I didn’t have any mentors or leaders around me, so I was forced to figure out what worked best for me.
I’d read articles and books and listened to podcasts to get ideas to try. Since I couldn’t access the individuals I was “learning” from, I had to adapt what I was trying to implement to work with my environment and what felt right for me. During this period, I learned the best way for me to grow and evolve was to look at other people doing things in ways that aligned with me, borrow what I could observe from them, and then add my own influence on it.
I didn’t know it back then, but I had discovered that the best creators, entrepreneurs, and artists “steal” from each other and make it their own. I recently saw a clip of an interview with Method Man where he shared that he took components (aka the “stealing”) from four different songs to develop part of his breakout song, “Method Man”, and once he revealed how he did it, it became obvious to the hosts (and me)--we can all stand to have a little Method Man in us.
Back to my convo…
The final topic in our discussion was fashion; while in class, I shared with the students my design to buck the fashion trend of finance and dress how I felt most comfortable, so it made sense that he might ask about fashion.
He simply asked where I thought he should get started with thinking about fashion.
My answer was short and sweet…
“What makes you feel the best? Wear more of that.”
I could have told him where I shop and what I like to wear and told him to go shopping. But what if that’s not what makes him feel his best? I’m not a fan of getting suited up anymore, but if a suit makes him feel like Superman, he should wear suits. There was no “right” answer I could give him. The best I could do was share why I wear what I wear, listen to what I listen to, and prepare each day to feel my best—because if I feel my best, I will be my best. And, if I’m my best, what I wear won’t matter to anyone.
I hope my lack of absolute answers did not frustrate my college friend. Instead, I hope they help him find his authentic Self sooner and realize no one else will have THE answer for him when it comes to living his life–the best we can do is to share our experiences and what we’ve learned and allow him to steal from us to find his own truth—becoming his own version of Method Man.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
