who is life planning for?
As I continue this series on life planning (if you didn’t read the first post, What Is Life Planning?, you can check it out here) I want to share who life planning is for.
The simple answer is: Everyone.
Everyone deserves and can benefit from having a life plan.
The complex answer is that while life planning is for everyone, I believe you have to be ready and seeking life planning for it to be effective and most people are not ready.
Because the life planning process is deeper, more emotional, and personal, I have experienced that not everyone is ready or wanting to go through the process. And, they certainly are not thinking about peeling back the layers to discover their authentic Self with their financial advisor.
If done properly, by the life planner and the individual, the life planning process can uncover new truths, tough decisions to make, and a new life that is much different than the status quo; it can also bring more meaning to the life you are already living.
Again, not everyone is ready for, or seeking, what life planning might uncover.
So who is life planning for?
This list may not be complete, but from my experience, these four avatars are who come to mind when I think of who might be ready for and would benefit from life planning:
1.) “Midlife awakeners”.
There’s something about hitting middle age, which is where I find my Self, that causes people to make major changes in their lives—and yes, sometimes this midlife awakening looks more like a crisis. Having experienced this my Self (not the crisis part), I can share that when you approach the age of 40 (could be earlier, could be later) you begin to understand some important lessons that allow you to live more authentically.
First, you realize that people are not paying as much attention to you as you’ve always believed, which frees you from feeling as if you have to be someone you’re not to impress others. It’s not that you don’t care what people think, but you just don’t let your self-worth and confidence come from the opinions of others—you find a new level of self-confidence.
Second, because you have had more life experiences, you have a better understanding of what you like and value, and more importantly what you do not. You develop a better understanding of You.
Third, you’ve experienced death’s reminder to live life to its fullest. Whether it’s family members, friends, colleagues, or a friend-of-a-friend, you’ve probably seen how short our time in this experience can be and that you should not only maximize your time on earth but your happiness as well. Confronting your mortality, not your fear, but as an inevitable event may leave you questioning the life you are living.
Finally, at least for this post, you have also built a network of people, some of which may have undergone their own “awakening” and refocusing of their lives. Through conversations with these mentors, your interest will surely be piqued. Not only will their words inspire you to examine your life, but so will their energy, presence, and exuberance for life.
This is hardly a complete list of what is experienced in the middle of our lives, but for many, something clicks that sends them on a pursuit of discovering who they really are and how they can live their authentic life.
It’s as if they are waking up to who could be—and are supposed to be.
2.) Wealthy/successful people who realize “more” won’t make them happier.
You might not believe this, but there are a lot of people with more money than they know what to do with that are extremely unhappy, discontent, or unfulfilled. They’ve accumulated more wealth than they need and have finally realized that more money will not make them happy (I wrote about the impact of aligned money vs. money in a Daily Note).
You can replace “money” with “success” and the statement is just as true.
Some people will always be motivated by more money and success and that’s ok. But from where I’m sitting, I’m seeing more and more people realize they’ve found their sense of identity in their wealth and/or success; only to realize that it was a false sense of identity which has led to living a life missing purpose and meaning.
For these individuals, it’s not about more money and success—they have already achieved it, and find themselves in a position to pursue a more authentic version of their Self and an authentic life aligned with who they are now.
3.) Trauma survivors
There are few things other than surviving a traumatic event to make you re-evaluate your life and seek the life you really want to live. I think we all experienced a little of this coming out of the Covid lockdowns. This was a traumatic event—not all traumatic events involve death, injury, or close calls. I’m sure you know plenty of people, and maybe are one of them, who realized during Covid there were more possibilities for your life beyond the one you were experiencing at the time.
We all learned that remote work was possible. That we could be just as productive in less time, which allowed us more time to try new things or dive deeper into our passion.
We also learned that we may not be in as much control of our lives as we thought, and that by following our interests and passions could set us up to be in a position where we do have more control.
Whatever the trauma is, it can open your eyes to new possibilities, along with reminding you that our time in this experience is unknown, so why not pursue the life you feel called to live?
Life planning can help the trauma survivor find a clearer vision of the life they want on the other side of their healing; in no way do I believe life planning is to replace working with a licensed professional like a therapist—the healing work with a therapist will be helpful for the life planning process.
4.) Purpose seekers.
There are some people who haven’t experienced a midlife awakening, survived a trauma, or accumulated the type of wealth that provides more freedom to explore, yet they have an internal calling to seek more—more purpose, more meaning, and more fulfillment. If you ask them, they may not be able to communicate what they feel, other than there’s something more for them out there and they have to figure out what it is and pursue it.
I think I was this person earlier in my career and the evidence is the wandering and experimentation I did with my business, other business opportunities, and my creative ventures. I’ve always followed my passions and looking back I think those passions (and interests that never developed into passions) were guides to help me move closer to my purpose and eventually discover the ideas of “the authentic life”.
If you are a purpose seeker, I see you and I feel you.
It’s not easy to not know why you can’t be content with your status quo, especially if it’s good. From experience, I want to encourage you to continue to follow those passions and seek what is calling you.
If you know someone who is seeking their purpose, please be supportive and understand that it’s not a choice—they really are being called to something and until you experience it your Self, you might not be able to understand.
Going through the life planning process will certainly help the purpose seeker sort through the ideas, prioritize the passions, and eventually find what it is they are seeking—and if you’re reading this nodding your head along because you FEEL this, I would love to connect with you and see if I might be the right person to be your anam cara (a new term I recently learned and fell in love with—it means “soul friend” in Ben Katt’s The Way Home).
I’m sure there are more avatars of who is ready to pursue life planning, and I may update this as I meet more through my work, but when I think about who MIGHT be ready to really dive deep and do the work to discover and align their authentic life with their finances, these four individuals are the first to come to my mind.
I want to end with an important reminder:
Life planning is for everyone. Everyone can benefit from going through the process.
It’s just been my experience that not everyone is ready or willing to be vulnerable, open to exploring, and committed to doing the work involved in life planning.
Going through the life planning process is work—more work for the client than the life planner.
A statement from my EVOKE training that will always stand out to me is (this is not the exact quote but it is representative of what was said), “it’s not the responsibility of the life planner to provide any answers for the client. It is the client’s responsibility to discover their own answers. The life planner is there to listen with empathy, give space, and act as a guide.”
Up next in the series will be a high-level look at what the life planning process looks like, at least the way I approach it after going through the Kinder Institute EVOKE training and mentorship (I have one more class to complete in December and I’ll have my RLP® designation).
Until next time…keep pursuing,
JC
