Get Out Of Your Own Way
At times, we can be our own worst enemy.
I spent the last few days surrounded by some of the best financial advisors in the country and barely have any voice after nonstop conversations at the conference. I used to love going to conferences but as the boys get older and busier, I don’t like to be away from home longer than I need to be–but, when I get to have conversations like I did this week, the time away is not wasted.
A common theme I noticed amongst many of the financial advisors is that they just couldn’t get out of their own way.
Whether it was their goals for growth, content creation, or even happiness they just couldn’t get out of their own way and allow themselves to arrive at the destination they sought. By just talking with them I could see they were on the right path and would get to where they wanted to be if they would just stop getting in the way of the Pursuit. When I reference “getting out of their own way” I mean overthinking, analyzing, comparing to others, and holding onto metrics that don’t align with them.
Taking time to think through your decisions, analyzing risks and rewards, and understanding what others are doing are actually important things to do–but only to an extent. When you take these too far you end up suffering from “paralysis by analysis”, constantly tweaking things and wasting time, or being unhappy.
And this is true for everyone, not just financial advisors.
I want to focus on one specific way we get in our own ways: Comparing ourselves to others.
I had one specific conversation with a friend, which I don’t think he’ll mind me anonymously sharing. In fact, I hope he reads this and it reiterates what I told him when we were talking 😀.
I’ll make a long story short: this advisor has his own financial planning firm with a small team, great clients who are more like friends than business relationships, more than enough revenue to provide for his authentic life for his family, and enough growth to not have to worry about the long term. He knows what makes him happy outside of work–his wife, kids, traveling, and a couple of specific activities. At work, he loves being the advisor and working in the business. As I listened to him, felt his energy, and saw the excitement on his face, all I could thing is “you have it—you have it all.”
And I told him that.
BUT…
Even though he acknowledged the hard work over the last 15 years had brought him everything he could have ever asked for and more, he felt pressure to be doing more.
Creating content (the conference we were at was a marketing conference)
Growing to a specific revenue level
Continuing to find ways to grow
None of these are necessary for what he wants today but it’s what other advisors are focusing on and industry publications are telling us we should be doing.
He doesn’t need to grow, which means he doesn’t need to worry about creating content unless he wants to (and I love creating content), and he doesn’t need the additional revenue. If he could just turn the little voice off in his head that is reciting what he’s been told by managers, the profession, and even the conference, he’ll be even happier and present with his family than he is today. I say “even happier” because it’s not as if he is unhappy–but you can always be happier.
His fully authentic life (for now) is right in front of him–if he’d just get out of his way and not worry about what others have told him he’s supposed to be doing.
I hope he is able to silence that little voice and realize he needs to just keep doing what he’s been doing, enjoy the clients he has and find ways to make their experience even better, cherish the time he has with his young kids, and create as many amazing memories as possible while he can. In the future, if he still wants to hit that revenue number, begin creating content to join the rest of us, or go big, he can do that later.
Take a few moments after finishing today’s note and reflect on how you might be getting in your own way and how you can give yourself the grace to move to the side.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
