Prioritizing Within Your Authentic Life
The Pursuit of your authentic life is not an easy journey. It is full of emotional decisions, working through past traumas, decisions going against what you’ve been taught is right, taking risks, overcoming imposter syndrome and self-doubt, and reprioritizing your Self.
It’s a lot of work and it’s why so many never get to experience their authentic lives.
The hard work doesn’t end once you make your way through all of the emotional obstacles…once you identify your authentic life and begin living it, you will realize the need to prioritize within your authentic life–especially if you have others depending on you. I initially think of my authentic life and how I must balance it with the four other family members in my house pursuing their own authentic lives.
It’s springtime in Indiana, which can be one of the most beautiful times of the year. It can also be one of the most frustrating. When I think about spring I get excited about the longer days, the sun, the flowers blooming, and the opportunity to spend time outside. I’ve discovered I need the sun and warmth in my life—I thrive when I can spend time outside working, playing with the boys, or just being out in the sun. The Indiana spring loves to tease us Hoosiers by giving us a couple of nice warm days and then throwing some freezing days, and even a random snowstorm into the mix. I’m so excited for the warmer weather to arrive and it just never seems to come as early as I’d like.
The sun and warmth are a part of my authentic life–I’ve always had a west coast soul and now I know why…The sun and warmth year round. If I were solo in my authentic life I would probably move to California or Arizona. But I’m not…and nor do I want to be.
Living outside of Indiana is not currently a part of my family’s authentic lives…trust me, I’ve asked and pleaded.
There is a high likelihood that as you uncover the details of your authentic life there will be parts that conflict with the authentic life of the people you care about. In some cases, those mismatched details are a sign and actually helping you move closer to your authentic life and telling you a change in the people you surround yourself with is needed…man, what a hard realization to come to. For example, you are in a marriage or partnership with someone who is struggling with addiction. After years and years of supporting, helping them with treatments, and trying to make the relationship work it becomes clear your authentic life is not meant to be struggling in the relationship and unhappy. Your authentic life conflicts with your partners, or your partner haven’t found theirs, and the only decision to make is to prioritize your happiness and authentic life over theirs.
Thankfully, I do not find myself in that situation.
The prioritizing I am faced with is deciding whether to uproot my family for warmer and sunny weather year-round or stay in Indiana and continue to live this great life and deal with the frustrations of spring and the cold gray winters. Prioritizing my family’s happiness above my desire for year-round sun and warmth is easy because the priorities within my authentic life have my family’s happiness above sunny and warm weather. I am able to live the rest of my authentic life in Indiana, and I know this because I have written out the important details of my authentic life and have thought about where they all fall in the level of importance.
The truth is despite my angst for the cold and annoyance that it is 30 degrees during spring break, living in Indiana affords me the ability to travel, have great experiences with my family, be close to both my wife and my family, and keep the close friends that the boys have that I would lose moving. And the weather isn’t THAT bad…it could always be worse and I prioritize maximizing the warm sunny days when we have them–I don’t waste the good weather when it is here.
Once you find your authentic life your work is not done. You must blend your authentic life with those closest to you so they can continue to live their authentic life. If you don’t understand which details are most important, merging authentic lives becomes more difficult. Take the time, as you write out and envision your authentic life to prioritize the details of that life so if you need to compromise you understand when you need to put your Self and authentic life first, where you can put others ahead, and how you can maximize the parts of your authentic life that fall lower in priority when they come up.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
