Mr. Do-All-The-Things
There was a period of time when I found a sense of identity in being “Mr. Do-All-The-Things”; I remember talking to peers and being asked how I was able to balance running and growing my firm, writing blogs, recording podcasts, filming videos, being active on social media, never missing the boys’ events, working out, and prioritizing my family over everything else. I’d humbly share my secret, which was I was only doing things I loved and enjoyed–internally, I’d be smiling a little because of the praise I was receiving. I’d tell people what looked like work was really fun and replaced hobbies that other people might have.
Instead of hitting the golf course, as many advisors do, I’d rather write a blog post or record a podcast. Instead of going out for social dinners during the week, I’d rather be home with the family and run around to practices. Instead of binge-watching Netflix, I’d rather edit videos and podcasts or create some other type of content.
At the same time, a few friends encouraged me to narrow my focus because if I was having success spreading my Self around, what could I do if I was focused on just one or even just two things?
They weren’t wrong, and deep down, I knew there was a benefit to focusing all my energy on one thing. A friend of mine who is a prime example of what can happen when you narrow your focus and get very specific used to always tell me, “inch wide, mile deep,” meaning focus specifically on one thing and then go deep into that area. Despite understanding the benefits of being more focus and agreeing with these friends, I knew that I couldn’t get hyperfocused because I was called to do all of the things I was doing.
Everything I was doing at that time was because I had an interest, really a pull, to do it. I had to know what it was like to be a business owner, a blogger, a podcast host, etc. I never woke up and thought to my Self, “today is a good day to start something new, just because.” I felt like I had no choice but to do the things I was doing because the pull to do them was strong–it’s not an easy phenomenon to explain, but if you know, you know that feeling. I remember telling another close friend that I thought (didn’t believe, but thought) that maybe I was supposed to be the guy who thrived doing-all-the-things–maybe I was an example to show the possibilities of the other side of being hyper-focused, like a Gary Vaynerchuk.
In hindsight, I realize that my period of being “Mr. Do-All-The-Things” occurred for a few reasons.
First, it was a period of exploration and learning skills. I learned a lot about who I am and who I am not during these years. I also learned a lot of technical skills like writing or editing that have served me well and will continue to serve me. Second, it was a period of time to meet new people and build an amazing network of human beings. Because I was doing so much, it put me in front of many people looking for advice, along with getting the attention and respect of people I admired and respected. Third, it was a period of personal growth through experience and experimentation. I had to do-all-the-things to get to a point where I could narrow my focus and scale back my efforts, which is where I am today.
But maybe the most influential cause of that period was an unrecognized feeling of discontentment. I believe, in addition to the reasons above, I was doing so many things because subconsciously, I was discontent with the impact I was having on the world. My subconscious desire for more led me to try to find my “thing.” I say my discontentment was unrecognized because I was happy–it was not like I was frustrated with my life, unhappy, or feeling like I lacked purpose. It was the opposite–I was full of energy, grateful to operate life on my terms, and enjoying every bit of life. If you would have asked me if I felt discontent with my life, I would have laughed at you and told you no.
For some, being discontent might lead to being unhappy, frustrated, or depressed. Thankfully for me, it led me to a busy time in my life that I enjoyed and ultimately brought me to my purpose and has allowed me to get hyper-focused on the idea of the authentic life and helping people live theirs.
I share more about how discontentment actually served me and hope that maybe my story can help bring more direction to a few of you in this week’s episode of LifeDesign+. Check it out for a deeper dive and some tips to help you if/when you realize you're experiencing a positive battle with discontentment.
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