Choosing Presence Over Distraction
Last night was a rare occasion for us; we were all sitting at the kitchen table once dinner was over, just hanging out, laughing, and all were fully present. As it is for most families, evenings are pretty hectic for us–running the boys to practice, attending games, picking the boys up from activities that aren’t basketball, making dinner, picking up the house, studying, and the list goes on.
Sadly, we don’t get to sit down as an entire family every night to have dinner together, especially in the fall and winter. And last night should have been one of those evenings where we divided and conquered around the dinner table–Roman had a basketball game across town, Leo had basketball practice that got over late, and Ang and I had to split after Roman’s game to get the boys home at different times.
But yesterday was Leo’s birthday.
We had a reason to slow down and wait for each other, which I have noted that we made it happen for Leo’s birthday so we can do it most days, and sit together, talk, and even watch a dance performance from Silas. We took the time to make cookies and put a candle in one to sing Happy Birthday to Leo.
No one was on a device; Roman didn’t ask to leave to play video games with his friends. Everyone was content being with each other in that moment.
There was one particular moment where I caught my Self fully present, and I’m so thankful I had the awareness to sit further back in that moment and just observe–it was during Silas’s impromptu dance show.
Our Alexa device had been playing one of my wife’s playlists and Miley Cyrus’s “Flowers” came on and apparently, Silas loves this song and knows most of the words to the song. As soon as he heard the song start, he hopped up from the table and started to dance, with choreographed moves to the words, for the entire song–what made the performance even more comical was that he was only in his underwear (don’t ask, he’s in this phase where he loves to strip down to his underwear as soon as he gets home.)
As I watched Silas, I looked across the table and saw Ang, Roman, and Leo all watching him and laughing–not a phone was in sight, no distractions were around, and all eyes were focused on Silas. I don’t know what it was about that moment, but I sat back and watched it. I was still able to enjoy Silas and being with everyone, but I also dropped back and became an observer of the moment–my mind was free from any thoughts, to-do’s, and distractions, which is rarely the case unless I’m meditating, in yoga, or hit a flow state while working.
Sitting in the seat of an observer allowed me to appreciate the laughter, the interactions between Romand and Leo and Ang, Silas’s dancing, and being fully present in that moment more than I would have if I were only experiencing the moment–it’s a weird feeling to try and describe, but if you’ve experienced it before you know what I’m trying to explain.
It’s a feeling and experience I want to be conscious of finding more often.
With so many competing interests for your attention, it is easy to become distracted and miss moments like I experienced last night, and it’s these types of moments that create the core memories that make our experience in this life so enjoyable–not the distractions of technology, work, or whatever else is fighting for your attention.
Choose more moments of presence over distraction and see how your days change for the better.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
