self-imposed limitations
Are you subconsciously keeping your Self from reaching your true potential?
I had a great conversation yesterday with a younger financial advisor, and we discussed his firm's vision, goals, and obstacles that might stand in the way. One of his closing questions was about what advice I would give him as he headed into the new year.
I brought him back to a number he shared with me—the income he wanted to get to so he could feel like he could live comfortably. I told him that number was too low and that he was limiting his Self by focusing on that number.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to know your income needs, but focusing on that number makes you risk only getting to it. I know how he came up with his income goal—he looked at his expenses, added a buffer, and arrived at his number.
I told him that he would get to whatever number he chose to focus on, so why not choose a number twice or three times the amount he told me?
There could be underlying money stories that also contributed to why he settled on the original number he shared with me. Those may need to be addressed before he can give his Self permission to focus on a larger number—I only got to spend an hour with him, and we didn’t dive deep into his relationship with money. But by sticking with his initial number, subconsciously, he will do the work representative of that number–meaning, he will do what he needs to do to arrive at that income, which is way below his potential.
Not only will he be shortchanging his Self by missing the opportunity to have more money to do good things, but he’d also miss out on the opportunity to help more people with his work and the firm he is building. If he focused on a larger number, he’d do the work necessary to arrive at that income, which would require helping more people.
I left that call thinking about ways I might be limiting my Self by focusing on my version of a “number too low.”
This phenomenon of limiting ourselves is not only seen in money.
Any goal you have is an opportunity to focus on a level that is too low for you.
For example, I’m focused on selling out the Fishers Event Center in five years for a Keep Pursuing Event; am I limiting my Self by not focusing on selling out Gainbridge Fieldhouse (where the Pacers play) or even Lucas Oil Stadium (where the Colts play)?
I don’t know—maybe I am.
But, I do know that my goal of Fishers Event Center makes me very uncomfortable, which tells me it’s the right size, and when I think of my new friend’s income goal, I don’t get the feeling it made him uncomfortable, which tells me it wasn’t large enough.
There are many reasons why we place self-imposed limitations on our Selves, but that’s a Note for another day and maybe even an episode of LifeDesign+ if I could find the right professional to talk about the psychology of self-imposed limitations (if you know someone, please connect me!).
Are you holding your Self back from fully embracing your authentic Self and potential by setting your sights too low?
It’s an interesting exercise, if you can be honest with your Self. Give it a try.
🎧 Listen to today's Note on the LifeDesign+ podcast.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
🦅 Some ways I might be able to help you live your authentic life:
🤝 One on Ones Let's hop on Zoom to do a guided meditation, a creative brainstorming session, or an overcoming an obstacle session.
📝 LifeDesign+ LifeDesign+ is rooted in the Kinder Institute of Life Planning’s EVOKE process, which is a five-step process to help discover what your authentic life looks like and begin to design a plan to bring that life to reality. It continues to incorporate the alignment of your spirit, mind, and body to ensure you evolve with your authentic life, as the authentic life is not a destination, it’s an evolution.
💸 AlignedLife+ AlignedLife+ (and the one-time engagement AlignedLife) takes LifeDesign+ to the next level by aligning your finances with your authentic life at RLS Wealth. For individuals looking for a financial advisor to help design and manage their financial plan while maintaining the alignment of spirit, mind, body, and money, AlignedLife+ was created specifically for you.
📈 LifeDesign+ for financial advisors LifeDesign+ for financial advisors mirrors the LifeDesign+ relationship, including the focus on the alignment of spirit, mind, and body, with an important distinction—once the plan for your authentic life has been designed, we shift our focus to integrating your new plan with your practice.
🤝 Outsourced life planning As your outsourced life planner, you bring me in to take your client through the Kinder Institute of Life Planning’s EVOKE process to help them better understand who they are, what they want their life to look like, and create a vision of this life for you to execute on the financial plan. Since you are their financial advisor, you will be a part of each of the meetings, so you understand the “why” behind your client’s new plan.
